Does Modesty Take Away From Women’s Empowerment?

Fashion Through Different Time Periods

We were on our way to Sudan.

My dad stood in the doorway of our room and said, “Make sure you pack modest clothes. We need to respect the culture." I remember the heat that rose in my chest. I felt angry, frustrated, like something was being taken from me.

Sudan is a Muslim country, yes, but women still have freedom to dress how they want to an extent. Culturally, though, extremely tight clothing or anything showing too much skin is frowned upon. I did not care. I was convinced this was wrong. I told my dad Sudan was “backward,” that it did not honor women’s rights, that I should be allowed to wear whatever I wanted.

But I did not realize he was right until I landed in Sudan wearing exactly what I wanted.

My sisters and I stood out immediately. Not in the cute tourist chic way. In an "every eye is on you" way.

One afternoon, we were walking down a street and a car slowed beside us. The men inside started catcalling loudly and aggressively. They shouted things that made my stomach twist. I wished I could disappear. I wished I could blend in. I wished I had listened.

As we kept walking, I noticed something else. The local women who dressed modestly in flowy dresses, scarves, and loose layers moved through the world with ease. They were not stared at. They were not harassed. They commanded respect without saying a word.

And that is when something shifted.

Exploring urban environments among towering cityscapes prompts reflection: Is modesty a constraint or a basis for growth?

For years I thought modesty was about restriction. Oppression. A limitation placed on women. But in that moment, I realized modesty was not something happening to those women. It was something they were using. Something that protected them. Something that communicated dignity. Something powerful.

But here is the part that surprised me most. It was not just a developing country thing. When I came back to the United States, I noticed something I had ignored my whole life. We also use modesty as a tool here. We just do not call it that.

Think about it.

Everything Starts with ME

When you go to a job interview, a courtroom, a university orientation, or any professional setting, you dress modestly. Not because someone forces you, but because you want to be taken seriously. We intuitively know modesty shapes perception.

Psychology research even supports this. Studies published in The Journal of Social Psychology show that clothing dramatically influences how others interpret our intelligence, credibility, and trustworthiness. People in more modest or professional clothing are often judged as more capable and more confident compared to people dressed in revealing or overly casual outfits.

The music industry sexualizes women constantly, yet those same women walk into business meetings in blazers and high necklines because they know the outfit that works for entertainment does not work for empowerment. Even female politicians are judged heavily on their clothing choices. Research from Rutgers University shows that women in leadership roles who dress modestly are perceived as more authoritative and competent, regardless of their policy positions.

So, the real question is not does modesty take away from women’s empowerment

The real question is why we are still acting like empowerment only comes from showing more.

Because here is the truth I learned on that hot street in Sudan.

Modesty is only oppressive when it is forced. Modesty is deeply empowering when it is chosen.

Empowerment is not about how much skin is shown. It is about autonomy. It is about intention. It is about being able to choose what makes you feel safe, respected, confident, or grounded.

Those Sudanese women were not oppressed by their clothes. They were empowered by them.

And here in the United States we practice the exact same principles even though we pretend we do not. Professionalism. Decency. Safety. Respect. These concepts exist in every society, not just conservative ones.

So, what does modesty really mean? It means choosing how you want to be seen. It means allowing your voice to arrive before your appearance. It means honoring your values, whether those values come from culture, faith, comfort, identity, or simply how you feel in your own skin.

Modesty does not take away from women’s empowerment. Lack of choice does.

Women who choose modesty are not shrinking themselves. Many are expanding more fully into who they are, refusing to let society dictate that empowerment must come through exposure.

Because empowerment looks different for every woman. For some, it is bold and loud. For others, it is quiet and intentional. For many, empowerment looks like covering up, not to disappear, but to define themselves on their own terms.

And maybe that is the part we should be questioning. If modesty, when chosen, gives a woman confidence, respect, and autonomy, then why is it still treated like the opposite of empowerment?

Who decided that empowerment has only one look? And what if the answer has never been about clothes at all but about who gets to decide what a woman should be.

What if modesty does not limit empowerment? What if it reveals it in a different way?

Next time you’re out in public or spending time with a friend, start a conversation about whether modesty takes away from women’s empowerment or if it can actually strengthen it. See whether your perspectives differ and explore what empowerment really means to each of you.

Warm moments. Honest conversations